Sunday, August 4, 2013

Project Runway 12: Episode 3: Dysfunction Junction

Alexandria and Dom's
super-cute sweater dress should have won IMHO.
I half-agreed with the Project Runway judges this week. They got rid of someone who should have been eliminated a while ago, but that person didn't make the worst dress this time. It all started when Heidi Klum burst into everyone's room at the fancy hotel (not the Atlas Apartments) and wakes all the designers up for their next challenge which involves a field trip. Ken is shocked out of his mind and pulls off his sleep mask like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's to reveal a second mask of skin cream. So that's his beauty secret. Side note: there are far fewer pajama-party scenes with the contestants dishing each other over white wine this season. Much more time in the workroom and on the runway, perhaps this is to make room for the "upclose" segments after the the runway show.

Anyway, it's suddenly daytime and we're on the boardwalk in Coney Island where Tim Gunn is ready for the latest product placement...I mean challenge. The sponsor this time is Yoplait Yogurt. At first I'm thinking they have to make a dress out of yogurt, but it turns out the designers are required to hand out free samples of the stuff and get the tasters to give them words describing it which will inspire the garment. Who is going to be on the boardwalk at Coney Island this early in the morning? Well, enough young hipsters are on hand to offer their thoughts--probably recruited from Central Casting. Plus, the material has to come from prizes won at the Luna Park fairgrounds. Oh, and the contestants are in teams of two--the dreaded team challenge combined with the unusual materials one.

Of course, Miranda and Timothy are placed together thanks to the ominous button bag. I keep hoping it's suddenly revealed they have the same father who ran away to Milwaukee after escaping from a mental hospital, the one Miranda says she'll wind up in if she has to work with Eco-Terror Timothy. Another trainwreck waiting to happen is the pairing of Sandro and Sue, the latter thinks the mad Russian is so funny and will be great to pair up with. "You'll be sorry," I sing to the TV set like Bugs Bunny in that one cartoon. Sue doesn't know how to work a sewing machine and Sandro has no taste, a match made in heaven.

Sandro-Sue and Miranda-Timothy are neck and neck in the Dysfunction Sweepstakes. But Team Wisconsin wins by a hair as Miranda talks smack about her teammate in front of everybody else. Timpothy promptly bursts into tears, hides in the stairwell, counseling himself with a card from his model and snuggling with his stuffed unicorn. The irony is they don't make the worst dress. That honor goes to Alexander and Justin whose piece resembles one of those Colorforms cut-outs after a six-year-old hacked it with a pair of pinking shears. Then they glue all kinds of triangles and flowers and some kind of bulbs on it. It is truly hideous.

Sue finally gives up trying to get Sandro to collaborate with her and just agrees to work as his assistant for another monstrous slutty cat toy creation. Before this Sandro cries at his sewing machine in frustration--AGAIN!

Helen is redeemed from last week's disaster by pairing with Kate and making a brilliant outfit from red sombreros. They win, but I liked Alexandria and Dom's adorable monster sweater dress better. So cute! (also love how Nina Garcia is keeping up with the times by calling it an Instagram moment.) Sue and Sandro should have been in the bottom two, but they are rescued by the horribleness of Miranda-Timothy's nurse's uniform and Alexander-Justin's kindergarten crafts project. Even though I despise Timothy, he didn't do the worst work, either Alexander or Justin should have been eliminated. Timothy gets the boot after spilling his guts on the runway and blaming Miranda for their misfire. Bye, Bye, Sustainability Pie!

Next week promises even more drama as Sandro finally blows his top and smashes a camera. Maybe we'll be rid of him and we can concentrate on the really talented people like Alexandria, Dom, and Braden.

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