Saturday, January 7, 2012

Project Runway All-Stars: Episode 1: A Mixed 'Blessing'

What a disappointment! I managed to get through the holidays with no Amazing Race, Work of Art, or even Project Accessory because I was eagerly awaiting Project Runway All-Stars, but the first episode was something of a letdown. Who are the new judges, mentor, and host? I mean, I know some of them for the world of reality fashion, but they are so DULL compared to the originals. First of all the host. Who is she? Some pretty model, but she lacks the snap and bite of Heidi. You can tell Heidi has strong opinions and is no one to be fucked with. This woman is a vapid as wet laundry. The mentor is that blonde Tina Brown-type from Marie Claire who has been a guest judge. Very frosty, not at all like the warm, nurturing Tim Gunn. I'll bet she's hell on wheels at the magazine and makes her assistants run for lattes and counts the change when they get back. Another British, empty fashionista to replace the fabulous Nina and for the Michael Kors slot they gave it to Isaac Mizrahi who is still recovering from his bankrupcy and The Fashion Show, that awful Runway knock-off on Bravo. I hope Heidi, Tim and company will be back when there are new, fresh contestants. Well, maybe I'm being unfair. It is only the first episode.

As for the all-stars, some definitely deserve to be there like Mondo, Gordana, and Kara. But what the hell was that Elisa woman doing there? She was the one who spat on her designs (as a "blessing") and created that monstrosity that looked like it was shitting fabric--one of the worst dresses ever done on Project Runway. Thank God she got eliminated right off the bat. When that Marie Claire editor visited her in the workroom, the mentor looked like a deer caught in the headlights and she was thinking "This woman is nuttier than Michele Bachmann eating from a can of Planters' Assorted...Unsalted."

I really thought Sweet P was gonna get the axe because of her dishrag pinaya housedress. It looked like something the maid would wear for an especially dusty house--all she would have to do is roll around on top of the furniture and she's done! And some of the judges actually seemed to like Elisa's storybook swimsuit with the bat wings.

I want Mondo to win (even though that head rag and the single earring he was sporting was crazytown...he made up for it with the cool straw hat-and-Eddie Munster ensemble he wore on the runway.)  He should have won his season instead of the crunchy granola girl who did. The Israeli guy who did win this week (I'll remember more of their names by next week) has bulked up since his season. Though his pecs and biceps are more impressive, I thought his outfit was too costume-y with those weird shoulder puffs.

I DVRed the first episode not knowing there was sneak peak of 24 Hour Catwalk right after. I will have give that show a try.


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