Reconstructing the Carol Burnett Show: Part 25

Season Six: 
March 17, 1973: William Conrad, Peggy Lee

Carol and Isabel Sanford
as Broad and New Jersey
in the parody of Maude.

I happened to be scrolling through the program guide on TV the other day and decided to record the MeTV half-hour butcher-shop edition of Carol's show which featured William Conrad because it said TV parodies. That sounded like fun so I DVRed it. The 22-min. edition begins with a typically lamebrained Carol and Sis sketch. Harvey as Roger has been mugged and Conrad is a police detective visiting the house to take his statement (like that would happen today.) This plays on Conrad's role as TV detective Canon. The scene ends with Roger having to admit he mistakenly attacked an old man thinking the geezer was trying to rob him. Turns out the old guy is a judge and Roger's in big trouble (Wah-wah!)

William Conrad (center) with the cast
of the radio version of Gunsmoke.

Conrad's distinctive deep voice got him much work as a voice actor in the Golden Age of Radio and in TV cartoons. I listen to old radio shows on Spotify on my morning commute because the news is too depressing (that's the subject of another blog post possibly). One of the shows I found is the old Gunsmoke which was on radio for several years before it started its record-breaking TV run on CBS Monday nights. (My dad wanted to watch it and we would have to go to another room to watch Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In on rival NBC.) Anyway, Conrad provided the voice of Sheriff Matt Dillon on radio but when the show transferred to TV, the actor's considerable bulk prevented him from making the leap to the visual depiction of the lean, virile, manly lawman. James Arness took over.  

William Conrad narrated
the Rocky and Bullwinkle series

Conrad is also well-known as the hyper-excited, high-pitched narrator of the beloved Rocky and Bullwinkle series. He later appeared on another episode of Carol's show as a beau of Mama's in the Family sketch. 

Returning to the episode at hand, after the dumb Carol and Sis sketch and the endless MeTV commercials for geriatric products, there were about 10 minutes of pure gold: four short parodies of 1973 TV shows. First Harvey, Carol, and Vicki stood in for Sonny, Cher and their then-daughter Chastity (who grew up to become Chaz) as Stunning, Glare, and Purity. Harvey recreates Sonny's short stature by standing on his knees. Carol as Glare insults Harvey. Big laughs. 

Then Lyle appears as Jack Lalane, who had an early morning exercise program. We get to see Lyle as Jack flex his fabulous biceps as he explains how a 90-year-old man like him can have such a magnificently muscular body. "I never exhale." So he exhales to see what will happen and his gut suddenly expands thanks to an inflating device.

Conrad returns as distinguished British actor Sir Orson Oliver delivering the Gettysburgh address while Carol, Vicki and the chorus girls as the Goldgigglers (a take-off on the Golddiggers girl group) simper sexily into the camera.

And then there's Broad, Carol brilliant take-off on Maude, then a popular sitcom from Norman Lear featuring Beatrice Arthur as Edith Bunker's ultra-liberal cousin. Carol enters as Broad after telling the chorus singing the theme song to get off her porch or she'll rip their hearts out. The main action of the sketch consists of Broad interviewing the new housekeeper New Jersey (satirizing Esther Rolle as Florida) and bulldozing her husband Walter (Harvey) into the bedroom. Vicki appears as Carol, Maude's daughter who rarely gets off the couch to tend to the son that no one ever sees. Carol's son Philip was often referred to, but seldom appeared on camera until later seasons. New Jersey was played by Isabel Sanford who would later star in her own Norman Lear-produced series, The Jeffersons. Frustratingly, even this short sketch is edited in the MeTV edition.

Imbd.com says there was also a spoof of Password, but I don't remember it.

I found the finale of the show on YouTube with everyone including William Conrad singing a medley of songs written by guest Peggy Lee, including the now politically incorrect "Manana," which is loaded with negative stereotypes about lazy Mexicans, performed with oversized, multi-colored sombreros. Lee appeared on Carol's show five times but she seldom makes the cut in the abbreviated MeTV segments.