Saturday, September 7, 2013

Project Runway Season 12: Episode 8: The Return of Poopy Pants

Tim Gunn should have worn that referee outfit
during the fight between Helen and Ken.
Heidi Klum is into poopy pants. We learned that on this week's Project Runway when the gorgeous host of the show revealed she actually liked Alexandria's second set of drop-crotch pants. These were made for the sportwear challenge and Alexandria did the same thing two weeks ago. None of the other judges including returning Michael Kors was smitten with the bizarre bottoms. But Heidi's yes vote saved her from elimination.

Helen miraculously won again for a not-very-exciting outfit. Her win from last week is probably what drove Ken into a jealous, hissy-fit rage and to call his church mother Down South for consolation. But let's start at the beginning with Tim Gunn in a super-cute referee's outfit blowing his whistle and waking the designers in the early morning hours. (They did that a couple of weeks ago for some other field trip.) Once again Ken starts the episode by bitching about the activity. Last week it was going camping and now it's sports ("I don't do sports.") Alexander reveals his only athletic pasttimes are fucking and drinking (I'm sure that's what he said though the Lifetime censors bleeped him out.) Once they arrive at some field somewhere, probably in Central Park, the designers have to team up to run an obstacle course; the winners chose fabrics first and get an extra hour of sewing to design a new activewear look for one of Heidi's thousands of labels.

Dom and Justin, two designers who are usually in the middle, win the obstacle race. Helen has immunity; when she asks Tim a question out of earshot of the rest of the contestants in the workroom, fireworks explode. Ken inquires as to what was said and Helen rightfully says "I don't want to say, it's a competition." Miss Short Temper interprets this as "attitude" and starts cursing and boiling over like a Sandro-like volcano of insecurity. He's probably angry at Helen for winning last week with a minimalist LBT (little black dress) when he came in second with a more detailed LBT. For what it's worth, I thought his was better even though I think he's a nasty bitch.

Just as the fight between Helen and Sandro come out of nowhere and escalated like the conflict in Syria, this one becomes a nuclear confrontation with Ken threatening Helen who runs and tells Tim. Meanwhile, Ken tearfully calls his mentor-church-mother person for encouragement. Tim then pets the kitty as Alexandria phrased it when she was working with Ken in order to calm the volatile little diva down. From his behavior, it seems Ken and Sandro have lots in common. They befriended Helen because they thought she was a weak little girl who easily burst into tears, was nearly eliminated, and was not a threat to them. Then when she spoke back to Sandro and when the judges began giving her wins, the two shaky queens snapped out on her.

Alexandria was exactly right when she observed Ken was difficult to work with and easily set off. He has talent but is very unsure of himself and responds to imagined slights or "attitudes" with uncontrollable temper tantrums. Tim negotiates a peace between Helen and Ken. She wins and he is saved from elimination only because Karen's baggy, middle-aged mom outfit is worse.

Dom, Justin, Jeremy, and Braden win up in the middle again. I like Dom's work the best and Braden's was really cool this time. It will be interesting to see who will make the final three. Right now Helen is the judges' favorite, but I don't see an aesthetic or consistency. They also like Kate. Alexandria is very skilled, and I think she got the message to stop with drop-crotches. Alexander has emerged ahead recently, but I think Braden or Jeremy are better. Ken is his own worst enemy and if he doesn't control his temper, he'll blow himself up like Sandro did. Right now, it's looking like Alexandria, Helen, and Kate, but I'd rather see Dom in the top three than Helen.

Something missing from this season so far: Real people challenges. So far we've had no mothers, couples, plus-sizes, high-school prom girls, etc. Only these same models. Let's have some real people.

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