Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Amazing Race 22 Episode 8: Chuck Literally Sticks His Head Up His Wife's Ass

Chuck and Wynona struggling in Switzerland
just before he literally puts his head up her ass. 
I'm just tired of the Hockey Brothers, Bates and Anthony, coming in first on The Amazing Race. They did it again this week and it's gets boring when the athletic alpha males dominate all the time. These guys are not aggressive or arrogant. I'm sure I would even like them in real life (unlike Max and Katie.) Their only flaw is they won't shut up about wanting to get together with the country singers. I don't hate them like I did Rob and Amber--I don't hate anybody like I did Rob and Amber. It's just so predictable when the obvious team keeps coming in first.

It was fairly obvious from the beginning that Chuck and Wynona would be the ones to go. They got the most screen time and the main conflict of the whole segment was Chuck complaining about his wife's slowness. At one point he even stuck his head on her ass to climb up a hill faster.

As the episode began I cheered that they didn't waste any time having everybody open the clue and then rush to a travel agency to plan the big trip from Botswana to Switzerland, and plot and scheme against each other along the way. Since they are in such a remote area, flights to Europe are infrequent and they all wound up on the same plane in a matter of minutes. But then we spent the entire first segment on like a dozen different trains. Cute-as-hell Meghan and Joey and the Roller Derby Moms missed their connection to Interlachen with the other four teams speeding away. Max showed his couth by flipping the camera the bird with both hands and dancing like a demented demon. Stay classy, Max.

The celebration was short-lived when the eight leaders discovered the next clue--to be delivered by a local on a wooden sled-bicycle thing--was not available until the next morning.So they get the clue and what do they have to do--get on another freakin' train. Then they must pick up a St. Bernard--and get on another freakin' train. What is this--Strangers on a Train? Throw Max from the Train? After another 37 train rides, the roadblock is to walk across a ledge on a sheer cliff, pick up the Travelocity Gnome, and bring it back. Oh, you also have to mention the Travelocity Gnome at least 500 times for product placement purposes. Everybody finishes in ten seconds, except for Wynona who has a difficult time with it, prompting Chuck to tear her a new one. Joey and Meghan are stuck behind them as the other teams race ahead to the next task--a switchback.

I think a switchback is a repeat of a detour from a previous season.This is the cheese-hauling challenge where you had to use a traditional wooden sled to get the cheese down a steep hill. I recall it was from the season when teams had to perform indigenous tasks and the locals would laugh hysterically at their awkwardness. No laughing Swiss natives this time, only a bunch of guys shaking huge metal cans with rocks in them. The Hockey Brothers get up the hill in record time while Katie holds up everybody else because she's wearing slick sneakers inside of snowboots.

Last place is a battle between the YouTube team and Chuck and Wynona. The latter are crawling up the hill (this is where Chuck is sticking his head on her posterior) while Joey is screaming like a little girl as he careens down with the cheese. It really looked as if the YouTubers were finished when they couldn't find a taxi and had to walk to the pit stop, but because Wynona rolled the cheese down rather than using the sled, the Team Taxidermy/Walmart suffer a 30-minute penalty and are eliminated.

Meghan was in tears and I almost was too when she thought they would be axed. I like them, but they'd better pick it up. They've been next to last for three legs now.    

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