In reaction to Attorney General Pam Bondi's rumored statement that inflatable frog costumes are really antifa uniforms and Doug and Emmy Jo doing a Facebook Live and podcasts.
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| Freddie the Frog, Charlie Owl and Henrietta Hippo from New Zoo Revue |
Emmy Jo: Thanks so much for asking us to tea, Henrietta. These cookies are delicious.
Henrietta: Why think nothing of it, Emmy Jo sugar. With all the trouble and confusion in the world today, I thought it would so nice to just sit down and relax with a nice cup of my special honeysuckle tea and some mint julep cookies.
Doug: Yes, it been so long since we've had a nice visit and forgotten the cares of the world. (This restive mood is broken by Freddie the Frog who bursts in crying his eyes out)
Freddie: Oh no. What a terrible day.
Emmy Jo (rises to comfort Freddy): Freddy, what is it? What's wrong?
Freddie (sitting down): My teacher says that because I'm a frog I hate America and I'm a terrorist and I'm a member of Aunt Tefa. I don't even have an Aunt Tefa. And what's Hamas? Isn't that a dip for Greek food?
Doug: No, that's hummus.
Freddie: Then the other kids all made fun of me and threatened to shame me on social media. (To Doug) Doug, what's happening? I didn't do anything wrong, did I? Can people hate you just because you're different?
Doug: I'm afraid so, Freddie. This is a terrible lesson we all have to learn someday.
Emmy Jo: But Doug, why would the teacher pick on Freddie like this just because he's a frog?
Henrietta: Yes, it doesn't make any sense. (Charlie the Owl enters in an equally distraught state)
Charlie: Oh no this is terrible. What am I going to do?
Doug: What's wrong with you, Charlie?
Charlie: I just got an email from Owl University where I serve as adjunct professor in general smartness. We're being told by the government that if we don't stop all our DEI policies, they'll cut all our federal funding. That means I won't have any financing for my research project on the nutritional value of field mice. What's worse they might fire me because I got the position through DEI.
Emmy Jo: But you're an owl, why would you have gotten a job at Owl University through DEI?
Charlie: I'm a forest owl. They only used to hire barn owls.
Doug: This is ridiculous.
Henrietta: Yes, it seems the whole world has gone crazy and unreasonable. What next? (The wall to Henrietta's house suddenly bursts in like the East Wing of the White House. A bulldozer driven by Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi plows into the room, following by 20 or 30 masked ICE agents.)
Pam Bondi (pulls out a megaphone and announces): This is a raid. You're all under arrest for suspicion of belonging to Antifa and thinking independent thoughts.
Doug: Oh come on, we haven't done anything. What happened to due process?
Kristi Noem: Save it for the libs, pinko! You're all being deported to South Sudan.
Freddie: What's the lesson here, Doug?
Doug: Don't vote Trump. (Pam and Kristi proceed to put zip ties on Doug, Emmy Jo, Freddie, Charlie and Henrietta and haul them off to detention.)
Note: this is satire, so don't sue me, Pam. (The president is allowed to do satire--like in his poop-dropping AI video--so I can too.) It turns out Pam probably didn't say anything about frog costumes, it was just an Internet joke, but it is funny.
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