Florida Trip Day Five: Animal Kingdom

At Disney's Animal Kingdom

The coronavirus pandemic continues to restrict movement in the US and around the world. Here in NYC, the schools are closed, Broadway has shut down, and restaurants only offer take-out. Even the small Off-Broadway theaters are shuttering including the last hold-outs Len Cariou in Harry Townsend's Last Stand, The Perfect Crime, and that parody of The Office. Now the CDC is saying there shouldn't be gatherings of more than 50 people for eight weeks, taking us into the second week of May.

I had my last dining-out meal Saturday night with friends. We were the only ones in the restaurant and had a lovely time. One of the party said it reminded him of the scene in Casablanca at the La Bell Aurore where Rick, Ilsa and Sam are drinking champagne on the night before the Germans invade Paris. "This oughta take the sting outta bein' occupied," quips Sam.

It may seem frivolous, but I want to continue chronicling my recent trip to Florida with my brother Jonathan and my commentaries on the Carol Burnett Show. Disney World is now closed, but last night the Magic Kingdom was wall to wall with people for a final night. (Bad idea.) Please know that this blog is an attempt to take your mind off these scary times, and not an endorsement of ignoring the very real threat of this virus. I have fond memories of my trip, but gathering in massive numbers like those people did last night was pretty dumb.

Florida Trip Day Four: SeaWorld

With the coronavirus shutting down Broadway, sports, and theme parks, I'm grateful I went to Orlando a few weeks ago and I was able to enjoy Walt Disney World and other attractions. To distract you from quarantines, social distancing, and Trump's incompetence, here's a continuing rundown of the trip with my brother Jonathan.

At SeaWorld's Antartica: Empire of the Penguins

Our plan for the fourth day was to get up at dawn and try once again for Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance at Hollywood Studios. But after three straight days of nonstop rides and park-hopping, we were both kinda tired. It was decided to take it easy and relax by the hotel pool for a while, then decide. There was one day left on my Disney four-day ticket and an extra day was built into our schedule. The Marriott Courtyard had a lovely breakfast, though it wasn't free. The pool and jacuzzi were stress-relieving. We decided to take a break from Disney and head to SeaWorld at noon after a mellow morning. The hotel concierge, a nice lady with a Southern accent, got us discount tickets. I had wanted to go since I had never been and the crowds were supposed to be much less than at WDW.

Florida Trip Day Three: Presidents' Day at Hollywood Studios

In the determined hope of getting on Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance, my brother Jonathan and I rose at 5:45 am on President's Day, Mon. Feb. 17, to get to Hollywood Studios in order to be in the

At Galaxy's Edge at WDW's Hollywood Studios

park as it opened and get a position in the virtual queue with a boarding group number. My brother had to be coaxed out of bed, and even though we skipped breakfast and rushed to the park, there were massive lines at the entry gates. We got in the park at about two minutes after opening at 8 am and all the slots on the virtual queue were filled up. It was very disappointing, but not surprising. Even if we had gotten into the park at 7:30 and whipped out our I-phones at the right moment, we still might not have gotten on because the whole thing is a lottery.

We consoled ourselves with tea and coffee, then started exploring Galaxy's Edge which we had gone through the night before after visiting Epcot. In addition to the rides, there is a droid-building workshop and a Jedi Knight training session where you battle Darth Vader, but you have to be a kid to join in that. Our first fast pass was for Star Tours, Disney's original Star Wars attraction which had undergone several changes since I had ridden it 20 years ago. The idea is you are on a star cruiser piloted by

Hangin with the Droids

CP30. But Darth Vader appears, accusing us of harboring a spy for the resistance (a picture of one of the guest riders is then projected on the screen.) We are chased by Vader, steered by a nervous, dithering CP30, ramming into the Death Star, shooting through space, Princess Leia begs us for help, and finally we land safely. (Did I mention I have seen all 11 Star Wars films and my favorite is Rogue One, seen in Rome with Italian subtitles.)

We had time to kill until our next Fast Pass, so we decided to wait in line to one of the more popular rides Slinky Dog Dash in Toy Story Land, another area not in existence since my last visit. The whole section is filled with giant toys from the late 1960s--Tinker Toys, balsa wood airplanes, board games, etc. Slinky Dog is relatively new and extremely busy. The wait was excruciatingly long--almost two hours--but it wasn't too bad (I could have seen the Muppets in 3-D while Jonathan stood in line. I should have made him do it since he made us miss the opening by staying in bed.) Anyway, there was a nice lady in line with us and Jonathan went for more coffee, tea, and pastries for all of us. The lady was from Winnipeg and

Slinky Dog Dash

she was also holding a place in line for her husband and two small children. Cast members dressed as green-faced combat soldiers entertained us by playing drums. The ride was fun--a sort of roller-coaster made of a slinky dog which rocks back and forth. I don't know if it was worth standing in line for close to two hours.

Our next Fast Pass was Toy Story Mania, but even with the Fast Pass, the line was a bit long. This one was remarkably like Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin at the Magic Kingdom and Men in Black at Universal where you shoot at targets for points with a cute little gun.

At some point we encountered Frozone from The Incredibles (voice by Samuel L. Jackson in the movie). It was a nice change to pose with a Pixar character rather than a Disney one.

Before our lunch reservation at the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater, we took in Voyage of the Little Mermaid, a condensed 20-minute version of the movie and Broadway show combining film, puppets, special effects, actual rain, and live actors who actually sang rather than lip-synched. The young actress playing Ariel had a lovely voice and held her own against a gigantic Ursula machine. The presentation was fast-paced and entertaining, but

Florida Day Two: Hollywood Studios to Epcot (Part Two)

At Galaxy's Edge in Hollywood Studios

Once my brother Jonathan and I made the transfer from Epcot to Hollywood Studios, the Star Wars voyage began (I was not gonna waste that extra money I spent on the Park Hopper option, so we made sure to go between parks on the same day at least twice). The new Star Wars area of WDW's Galaxy's Edge was one of the big draws for the whole trip. And if you haven't been living under a rock, you know that the new Star Wars ride Rise of Resistance is supposed to be the most exciting theme park ride of all time and if you don't get on it, you will regret it for the rest of your life. No pressure or anything! I'm not that much of a Star Wars nerd that I would die of disappointment if we missed this one-but I figured we should at least try to get on Resistance. (I have seen all of films of the franchise include the stand-alone single shots Rogue One and Solo.) The ride is so popular they don't even have lines to get on. You have to enter a lottery for boarding times via the MyDisney app the minute the Hollywood Studios park opens every morning at 8AM and they usually fill up one minute later.

Florida Trip Day Two: Epcot (Part One)

With Mickey Mouse at Epcot

Epcot is most educational, relaxing of the four Disney Parks. The rides are more about learning than screaming. Actually none of the rides at Disney made me scream, only the ones at Great Adventure, Universal and Sea World have done that. But at Epcot, you can look into science and technology and then stroll around the World Showcase visiting pavilions of different countries. Very restful. But this was Presidents' Day Week with huge mobs roaming around, getting in your way with their strollers and taking selfies.

My cold was much better on this second day of my Florida vacation (Sun. Feb. 16) with my brother and we had our three Fast Passes for Epcot. The first was Journey Into Imagination. The Fast Pass line was short except we did get stuck behind three people with mobility issues in scooters. Fortunately, they didn't hold us up too much (how dare they!). The ride was a simplistic journey through the five senses led by the animated magical dragon Figment and Monty Python's Eric Idle as a no-nonsense scientist. Child-like and mildly amusing. We had time to kill before our next Fast Pass (Mission: Space), so we took in the Disney/Pixar Short Film festival in 3-D since the theater was right next to the Imagination complex. It was a program of three shorts, two of which I had previously seen--Get a Horse featuring vintage Mickey and Minnie, and Feast, an Oscar-winning short about a dog and his master. The third was a cute piece called Piper about a baby sandpiper.

Florida Trip Day One: Back to the Magic Kingdom (Part Two)

Cinderella's castle
at the Magic Kingdom

After Epcot on our first day at Disney on Sat. Feb. 15, we took a boat--or was it the monorail?--back to the Magic Kingdom. I was holding myself together since I still had something of a cold, but I managed to hold on until the park closed late that night at 11PM. We arrived at the Magic Kingdom just as the fireworks were going off at around 8PM when the park usually closes. Main Street was crowded with people holding up their I-phones and blocking our view. About 15 minutes into the display it occurred to me we could get on the more popular rides now. This leads us to Helpful WDW Hint #3--Try for as many rides as possible during the fireworks because everyone will be watching them instead of standing in lines. The nearest popular ride was the People Mover in Tomorrowland, so I started running there and my brother Jonathan followed. Sure enough, there was not much of line and we got right on. Too bad it was not much of ride either. Basically, it was a tour of the attractions in Tomorrowland.

Florida Trip Day One: A Cold at the Magic Kingdom (Part One)

My brother Jonathan and I had such a great time at Universal Studios last year during the Martin Luther King weekend, I suggested we go to Disney World this year over the Presidents' Day week-long break. I hadn't been there in almost 20 years (I recall making jokes about going down there to help to count hanging chads in the disputed 2000 presidential election) and there have been so many changes and new rides since then. Great idea, but I soon discovered the big difference between

With my brother and Tigger at the Magic Kingdom

Disney and Universal is with the former you need to do a lot more planning than the latter. With Universal, Jonathan got a special deal since we would be staying at one of their resorts. We could get an Express Pass on all of their rides. With Disney, you can only get a Fast Pass for three attractions per day. In addition, reservations are required for almost all of the nicer table-service restaurants. This required downloading the MyDisney app, buying a Magic Band for quicker access, and strategic planning worthy of a military campaign to avoid endless waiting in lines.

After months of conferring and scheduling, the big day of the trip finally arrived and, of course, I had caught a cold. I was sniffling and sneezing on the plane to Orlando, but determined not to let it interfere with my having childish fun. Loaded up on DayQuil and Cold-Eze, I managed to get my ass out of the hotel bed and in my rental car at a decent hour. I had checked undercover tourist.com which as a crowd calendar for the best days to visit each of the four WDW parks. We also bought park-hopper tickets so we could go from one location to another depending on the crowd size. Since it was a school holiday, the mobs were massive, but we picked days for each park that were the least jam-packed. Monday was designated Magic Kingdom Day with the possibility of transferring to Epcot since the two are connected by monorail.