Reconstructing the Carol Burnett Show: Part 15: Who's Afraid of Virginia Robot?

Sid Caesar as Mr. Spook, Carol as Virginia Robot, 
Harvey as Capt. Quirk 

Season One: Sept. 18, 1967: Sid Caesar, Liza Minnelli

While scrolling through YouTube during an idle moment, I came across a long-missing sketch from the first season of the The Carol Burnett Show. It's a parody of Star Trek which was a brand new show at the time. The voice of Lyle Waggoner announces we are in for another thrilling episode of Space Trip in which the starship Intrepid boldly searches the galaxy for a higher TV rating. Harvey enters dressed in a bright red tunic with a lighting bolt across his chest as Captain Quirk. (He doesn't attempt a William Shatner imitation, probably because the actor's annoying mannerisms and weird pauses have not solidified as of yet with the viewing public.) Guest star Sid Caesar enters as Mr. Spook and the audience laughs at his freakishly huge ears. There is comic business as Spook attempts to tune in to a vital message from earth. The communication relays that a dangerous bomb in the form of a robot is floating around in space, so don't pick up any hitchhikers. At the moment, Carol floats by dressed alluringly in metallic fashion thumbing for a ride. Spook unwittingly brings her on board and she seduces him in order to blow up the ship. 

Sexual innuendoes abound. When Spook asks if he can adjust Virginia Robot's controls so she can say "I love you," she allows it if "You'll still respect me afterwards." (Notice she didn't say in the morning, maybe so it could get by the censors.) The Vulcan science officer also asks if she is AC or DC. When she responds AC, he is elated. "That will make my family so happy," he explains. (Playing into Jewish stereotypes I suppose.) Just as they are about to consummate their Vulcan-mechanical lust, Quirk returns with the news that Virginia will blow them up in seconds. Spook still wants her until Quirk says "But you'll be blown up." "Oh, yeah, I forgot that part," Spook answers. Now that she has found true love, Virginia volunteers to sacrifice herself by jumping out into space. As she makes a prolonged farewell, Spook and Quirk make "hurry-up" signs so she doesn't obliterate the ship. "We will be together some day," she tearfully tells Spook. "I will return in another form." Virginia nobly leaps out and blows up. 

Spook is heartbroken and brushes up against a desk lamp which giggles and speaks in Virginia's voice. He picks it up and begins caressing it. "I told you I would return in another form," Carol's voice-over says. Quirk asks what he is doing and Spooks answers, "Get your own lamp."

Andrea Martin and Carol 
as female versions of Spock and Kirk
from 1991

It was exciting to find this sketch because it is not included in the chopped-up, 22-minute version available on MeTV and Amazon, and this episode is not on one of the DVD collections. A spoof of the brand-new Star Trek, which I believe was filmed on the nearby Desilu studio sets, was full of possibilities. But the sketch itself is not so funny, reducing sci-fi themes to pedestrian dating jokes. Carol revisited the Star Trek milieu later when Leonard Nimoy in full Spock costume made a surprise appearance on the first season's Christmas episode. 

There was another unfunny Star Trek spoof in one of Carol's many later attempts at a post-CBS variety series. In this one from 1991, the Enterprise goes through a mysterious cloud and all the characters switch sexes. Carol is now a PMS-suffering Kirk and guest star Andrea Martin is Spock.  Once again, not very funny. The laughs are mostly based on female stereotypes. Both sketches were very disappointing and nowhere near as hysterical as the classic SNL parody with John Belushi as Kirk, Chevy Chase as Spock and Elliott Gould as a network exec delivering the bad news that the show is cancelled. 

Once the pandemic is over, I plan to visit the Paley Center here in NYC and find the missing episodes in their entirety. According to Paley Center's catalogue, here's the rundown of this Sept. 1967 episode:    

Opening with audience Q&A

Carol sings Cabaret

VIP sketch Lucy Brains

Liza sings "The Debutante Ball"

Sid does first time father monologue

Spoof Mouthwash commercial

Star Trip sketch

Liza and Carol in Time duet

Carol and sis--sleeping pill

Ziegfeld Follies spoof with Sid as emcee and Carol as clumsy showgirl

This 1967 episode with Caesar and Minnelli was previously discussed in Reconstructing the Carol Burnett Show: Part 9. The Amazon hacked version only includes the opening, the VIP sketch with Carol as Lucy Braines (spoofing LBJ's daughter), Caesar's monologue about a new father, and the Carol-and-Sis sketch featuring a sleeping-pill-drugged Carol trying to stay awake for an important interview with Cris's college admissions officer. As noted, this basic premise was repeated many times during the series with Carol either drunk or suffering from jet lag during a visit from someone important to Cris's future. I found the segment with Liza singing on YouTube. (Lately I found another example as recycling material on a much more extensive level when they reused an entire Shirley Dimple movie musical comedy. That deserves an entire blog of its own.) So the only pieces missing from this second-ever episode are the Ziegfeld Follies finale and the mouthwash commercial which is probably very short.